Sarcasm

Sarcasm well it’s been around for ages. It’s a weapon for everyone who chooses to use it.  Well I’m not judging if Aunt Hilda is on your case again about how you are still not married at 28 and that your biological clock is ticking even louder that everyone can hear it. Yeeeaaahh imagine that in a restaurant with about 100 or more strangers and maybe that cutie that you were checking heard everything*(*of course he heard everything because Aunt Hilda talks like she has a loud speaker in her throat). You have already drowned yourself in wine and it’s still not helping sarcasm usually helps. You know you have used it. You just look at her and smile and say “Oh well I want my first marriage to my last” She immediately lets you go and picks another victim. Yeaah that sarcasm and ladies let’s just say you use it a lot. Remember that girl who looked at you weirdly when you were shopping for jeans. She plainly told it to your face you have no size and in that high pitched voice “We only cater for small sized women” You smile and say to her

“Well a small size woman wouldn’t fit these and jeans are not worth it if I can’t have another slice of cake. Well I will be off to find jeans that are going to hug my God given curves and have a large slice of chocolate” You walked out with your nose in the air.

Well Salute to your girl!!!!

Guys don’t be grinning from ear to ear you are as sarcastic as women if not worse, it’s just that in your case it goes unnoticed. You know exactly what I’m  talking about. Don’t be shaking your head and saying that’s not true. You know that’s true.

Remember that guy who always has to know everything. He was trashing your team again. Well what is a supporter who doesn’t stand up for their team. You said in your coolest voice without even a hint of sarcasm.

“Well they is a first for everything dude. Your team is doing well for a team that has been relegated a few times*(By few times you mean since the beginning of time)

I’m not judging but you are so good at it that you can get away with it.

Women nonetheless you deserve this one because you wield sarcasm like a ninja does with a sword. You are gifted. Don’t worry it’s been proven that it makes you live longer. So here is to saying your mind in a civilised manner and living long……Salute